Me (in the kitchen during breakfast): "Guys, I need to make an important phone call about Eden's doctor appointment. Please be quiet until I get off of the phone, okay?"
Automated Message: "Welcome to Blue Cross Blue Shield of Tennessee. If this is an emergency, press"---
Me (to kids giggling and playing with cinnamon rolls): "Guys! Shhh! I can't hear"...
Automated Message: "You stated that this is an emergency. If this is an emergency stay on the line until"---
Automated Message: "Main menu. For English press one. For Spanish"..
Eden: "Why did you yell 'no'?"
Me: "I'm sorry, I was talking to the phone"..
Automated Message: "Para espanol"...
Automated Message: "You selected 'Obtain A New Copy of EOB Card"--
Me: "No, I didn't"..
Eden: "You didn't what?"
Automated Message: "If this is correct, press one or say 'yes' now"...
Me: "This is not correct".
Automated Message: "Main menu. If this is an emergency, press one or stay on the line for further options".
Me (whispering, in a corner next to the trash can): Nooobody speak"...
Live Human Being: "Thank you for calling Blue Cross Blue Shield this is Sandy how can I help you?"
Me: "This is not an emergency".
Live Human Being: "Okay. The deductible for a visit to the ER for your current plan is"...
Me: "No, this isn't an emergency. I just need to see if my daughter will be covered for her checkup".
Live Human Being: "Let me check, please hold" (80s ballad about unrequited love begins). "Ma'am"?
Me: (still hunched in corner next to trash can): "Yes?"
Live Human Being: "She's covered. Thank you for calling Blue Cross Blue Shield. Have a great day".
Kids, what did we learn today?
1. I have no idea what was so funny about the cinnamon rolls.
2. I need to clean the floor surrounding our trash can.
3. So, so thankful this was not actually an emergency.
4. She's covered under insurance. I think...
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