keep looking forward.

As we drove off away from the church almost eight years ago, with random words, well wishes, and hearts written with white shoe polish all over my car, I was excited and overwhelmed that we were MARRIED. But all I could think about was not what was to come---the honeymoon in Maui, living in a new home, eating lots of Ramen noodles---nay, I was thinking about the wedding. The ceremony. What had already taken place. The bridesmaids' dresses, the food. How I wore my hair and makeup. How the fans in the sanctuary continued to blow out the candles each time they were re-lit. And when we finally received our wedding photos, the "I wish I had done this differently" thoughts resurfaced all over again.

{photo credit}

These thoughts haunted me for months. 

But you guys are not surprised by this. You know that I struggle with things being a "certain way", and when they are not a "certain way" this "certain person" falls apart (ie: ME). Instead of pressing forward, looking ahead to what is next, smiling at the future (as the Proverbs 31 superwoman does), I dwell. I dwell on the past, on the things I wish I would have changed or done differently. The wedding ceremony is just a small, small example.

But what about sin?? Aren't there things you wish you had never done? What if you could go back and change it? Would you?

I wish I hadn't yelled at my kids today. I wish I had a better attitude when things go wrong. I wish I had not racked up debt on my Visa Platinum right before I got married (although, got some pretty cute shoes out of the deal..)

What if I told you that if you are living a life of regret that you can let it go? Truly?

Hebrews is one of my favorite books of the Bible. It just speaks to me in differing ways each time I absorb myself in its words. And this week I have been sharing with some friends my soul struggle on "turning back". On wishing I had made different choices in life. Better choices. And dwelling on those mistakes:

"Therefore, brethren, since we have confidence to enter the holy place by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He inaugurated for us through the veil, that is, His flesh, and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful". {Hebrews 10:19-23}

 Jesus has paved a way for us. The veil is torn. We can move closer to God. 

 "Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward.  For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised. FOR YET IN A VERY LITTLE WHILE, HE WHO IS COMING WILL COME, AND WILL NOT DELAY. BUT MY RIGHTEOUS ONE SHALL LIVE BY FAITH ; AND IF HE SHRINKS BACK, MY SOUL HAS NO PLEASURE IN HIM. But we are not of those who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul". {Hebrews 10: 35-39}

  The day is drawing near. We are moving closer. 

Hold on to confidence. That will be your endurance: your fuel, for pressing on.

 Do not shrink back to destruction, have faith. 

These passages are all about pressing forward. Not shrinking back to destruction. Not going back to our old ways. Stop looking backward. Lot's wife did, and a pillar of salt she became. 

It is funny to me now, almost eight years later, that I let something so trivial take up so much of my thought life. When I look at those pictures now or watch the video, I love it. I love the way the candles lend an ambiance to the ceremony. I love how our vows keep Christ at the center. I love how I wore flip flops so I wouldn't be taller than my husband. But, I am seeing it through new eyes. Eyes that have seen what marriage can be and how I am thankful each new day for it. Thankfully, life is the same. When we see it through the eyes of our Creator, it is a beautiful thing. 

Leave the past behind, and smile at the future. For He who promised is faithful!


(Missed today's daily photo? Click here.)